We are such cool people, we are so unique and probably geniuses
The boring conformism of the new and innovative restaurants
Recently, a restaurant owner came out on their Instagram page to share that they had been cocaine free for thirty days, but actually maybe less.
Or what was it more? They could not remember clearly, but hey, it was a matter of celebration regardless.
Alcoholic celebration, of course.
But in moderation!
The reason was that they also claimed to have recently discovered that overdrinking and overeating were bad for their health, and that led to risky sexual habits and more drug consumption.
Mind blowing, I know.
Oh, and they also shared their recent discovery: that eating vegetables and fruit instead was actually good for their health.
Who would have known?
Groundbreaking discovery, I would say.
Especially for a person that has a business that involves feeding people.
I repeat: this person’s business is involved in deciding what goes into the plates of the people who visit their establishment.
To eat.
To insert in the body as fuel and pleasure is the whole business of their activity.
We spoke earlier about the detachment between the restaurant industry as a business venture and health (be it in the plate, in the workers, or in the restaurant’s accounting).
Seems that this is a topic that won’t go away, and we will explore its thousand facets together.
But for the moment, let’s not divert the course of our thought from this geriatric millennial’s groundbreaking discovery.
Doesn’t it seem that they are all making the same discoveries?
As the body starts to fail us, we seem to be turning to green juicing and reconsidering our habits.
Where did we see it before? Oh yes, in Gen X just a couple of years ago.
Most of these now ageing millennials (all in their thirties-to-forties) are a disgraced generation: failed by the market, have to compete for a place in the world with the overachieving and overzealous Gen X and also with the aloof kids of Gen Z, and are getting old.
They should or could or would settle down but cannot, and their relentless seeking for meaning in their lives through social media algorithms is dragging them around in infinite loops of misery, aimlessly. It is sad when we think about it.
We as a generation were promised so much!
If this wasn’t enough, widespread and pervasive technology nowadays makes some of us rich beyond measure, and at the same time, impoverishes most of us in terms of purpose and connections.
But there’s more.
Widespread conformism.
The restaurants, bakeries, and shops that we see being opened lately are very similar in concept and look alike so much they seem copies.
You recognize the places.
They scream of youth but have the need to be cosy.
They are all fashioned in a new Nordic minimalism that betrays the lack of design ideas and skills, and of course, a proper budget to purchase better and more unique furniture.
They are so conformist in their non-conformism that it’s almost sweet to witness, were not for their complete lack of understanding of gastronomy and nutrition, and their stubbornness in thinking that they are the next best thing (fueled by equally clueless journalists, business advisors, followers, and friends) and surely all their ventures will be a great success.
Let’s take Lisbon for instance
Elderly Millennials that come from all ways of life have entered the gastronomy sector, after some burning delusion in consultancy or any other business, after a burnout, or following unfinished studies they dragged on for a decade.
They literally flooded the city with outlets in synth with this tune of novelty-seeking and minimalist looks. While we all focused on chastising the avocado toast and pancake joints, collectively we missed the problem.
Endless copies of the same “concepts” to ensure the customers are living meaningful “experiences”.
This minimalism, which reflects so much the lack of gastronomical depth, is a plague of our times.
White or black dominates over colours and simplistic textures and patterns enhance the feeling of precarious living: a fitting metaphor for my generation indeed.
Due to circumstances (being hit with multiple crises of various types, from labour to finance to a global pandemic since 2008, and perhaps inflation compounded with recession up next), many of these people have never had the possibility to accompany a gastronomic growth from the burgers of the twenties to the fine dining experience of the thirties and, lacking knowledge, they are attracted to what is being told via their info channels (Instagram and magazines) what is good.
I remember eating in one of these new! genius! sustainable! outlets some months ago: everything was so bad, from the inconsistent service to the food! It was touted as the next best place, its chefs were oh-so environmentally conscious. They were baking! And pickling! And fermenting!
I went there with a couple of friends belonging to the Michelin star system (both head chefs, not unpaid trainees excited to be out and about) with a keen eye for culinary perfection, and it was an act of mercifulness and restraint that we didn’t launch the plates out of the windows during dinner.
The food was mediocre at best, badly prepared and awfully finished. It was preposterous and lacking any kind of interest.
While munching those sad dishes we wondered about our co-existence in the same universe. We felt we had hopped a couple of parallel realities aside.
But the best of the worst of the night was the attitude.
All the crew involved with that place were so self-confident, it was impossible not to laugh.
At them, not with them.
People that touted having had an internship at Noma (and now we all know that it was at best about peeling turnips while unpaid), but in reality never having eaten in enough restaurants or studied to understand what gastronomy or nutrition even mean, not having stayed at enough hotels (not hostels or Airbnb) to understand what service means.
Thank goodness for the usual aplomb of my chef friend, who managed to maintain a straight face all throughout.
I was of course cackling.
This reminded me of a sommelier I met some years ago in another very hype place in Lisbon, completely unaware and oblivious of her abysmally rude manners, lack of spatial awareness, and poor knowledge of wines (beyond a couple of scoby-packed natural wines she insisted - to my dismay and horror - to call “juices”, but this is a topic for another day).
So full of herself that she was almost bursting with ego, counterbalanced perfectly by the provisioning of a beggared customer experience.
And now these types are discovering that perhaps loading up with coke (of both types), fried food and heavy spirits is not exactly a recipe for health, a long life, and a clear mind.
We might be witnessing the next big thing for them.
The discovery of rehab. Or of the inevitable relapse.
When in an earlier post in this newsletter I talked of the sheer need to bring back nutrition into dining I spoke about fine dining, but the issue is also serious in these new and quirky ventures whose labour comes from unskilled and untrained enthusiasts that do not understand or care that the same salad can have 1 or 3 spoons of oil (and what kind of oil) and that difference matters, for who eats it, quite a lot.
It is a difference in the amount of calories, of course.
But also in taste and health.
Chefs, cooks, dishwashers, waiters: all of them are workers in an industry: not to be vilified, nor to be glorified either.
They mostly do their job as they are taught - and if they fail, they go out of business. It’s a huge pressure. But what if the only feedback they receive is biased?
The issue is that in many cases, education is lacking and being trained to peel turnips is not a guarantee of understanding how to properly use oils, proteins, and vegetables.
In the past few years, the answer to anything seemed to be to ferment the shit out of every vegetable and call it a day, touting it as so innovative, and at the same time so respectful of traditions.
What went missing in the meantime is a true gastronomic culture.
In this newsletter, my approach is systemic, as I think we are not interested in the individuals (chefs and cooks) but in the system that allows for this.
And the current system is far from perfect.
This journalistic craze with the incessant need to transform everything and anything in an experience (and thus make everything a banalité) is actually damaging gastronomy.
And of course, the presence everywhere of so-called foodies, that started off their journey in gastronomy trying to instantiate themselves from those people who flocked to brunches to take pictures at avocado toasts and pancakes… just to become a joke, just like the object of their feeling of superiority.
On the one hand, not taken seriously by the professionals of gastronomy, on the other hand, taken as insufferable bores and snobs by the general public of restaurant customers, they are a dying species.
And customers. We are guilty too. You are in for a wild ride here.
Stay tuned.
Shocking. Horrifying. And explains much. Thank you.