Phone off, attention on

Stab-stab-stab (the sound of a fork in your eye, if you whip ou the damn phone AGAIN)

Short of stabbing me in the eye with a lobster fork, the worst thing you can do to me at a table as a guest is to use your phone beyond the small window frame of tolerance I have.

Snapping a picture, preferably without much fuss, is on. After all, as we all know, even the most wannabe foodie among us ain’t Helmut Newton. Sorry.

The bane of my life is sitting at a table and aimlessly looking around while my dining companion stares into a tiny luminous screen, tapping away, engaged in internet conversations with someone else.

Just a tad worse than having to eat with the TV on. Something that I have never done with my parents, there the TV sat outright in another room, away from the dining table—especially a TV with a gruesome movie or any news.

Corpses, suffering and bombing ain’t opening up my appetite.

I find all this very insulting.

I don’t do it.

Ever.

You'll have my undivided attention if I share a meal with you.

Telephone conversations are less important than human conversations. In some ways, face-to-face communication still beats online communication.

One of the most hilariously sad moments of my life was witnessing a parent, halfway through their meal, all the while staring and tapping on her phone incessantly and yet yelling at their child for having—at that point, after several dozens of minutes of being ignored—pulled out the phone to play.

Parent of the fucking year, right?

Wow, the audacity - I thought.

But when did it become normal to share our meals with our phones?

I mean, if one is alone, it is ok.

I often whip out my phone and open my Kindle App to catch up on some reading.

But ONLY if I’m alone, between ordering and receiving my food or between the moment I finish the food and I get my bill.

If I’m with someone - anyone, really - they have my undisputed, entire attention. Otherwise, I’d have chosen to go alone - or with someone else.

I admit I used to suffer a lot whenever I was subjected to this phone treatment.

I think I’ve come to grow a relatively thick skin. Nowadays, I learned that while my dining companion may be lost in their parallel reality, I can have a meaningful observation time without being looked at. I can look around, observe, and take in the situation.

It’s a privileged moment or mindful observation.

And you, do you keep your phone on or off your face while dining with others?

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Reading Suggestions

Dedoyin Ajayi

in her blog

Let Me Tell You Something

talks about fatigue and how meditation can be like gymnastic for the mind and the soul, grounding us in the present:

A large chunk of the fatigue that plagues us, is because of a tired mind, weakened by clouded thoughts. This is where meditation comes in.

On Attention Spans and Sustained Thought Processes

The challenge of a shortened attention span is causing to the simple and humble act of reading (Murakami) is well explored by

Sarah Rosenthal

in

Nervous Wreckage

:

This was, at least in part, a challenge for me as well. I, along with literally everyone existing in the 2020’s, have had my attention span shrunk to the size of the littlest guy in a bag of frozen peas. I liked the idea of reading a longer book that would require my sustained attention and figured it would probably be a good winter/spring project.

o attention span, where art thou?

Do you use screens while eating?